1
00:00:01,961 --> 00:00:03,293
I just want you both to know,
2
00:00:03,503 --> 00:00:06,630
when I publish my findings,
I won't forget your contributions.
3
00:00:07,129 --> 00:00:08,440
- Great.
- Thanks.
4
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:11,133
Of course, I can't mention you
in my Nobel acceptance speech,
5
00:00:11,258 --> 00:00:13,061
but when I get around
to writing my memoirs,
6
00:00:13,186 --> 00:00:16,605
you can expect a very effusive footnote
and perhaps a signed copy.
7
00:00:18,315 --> 00:00:19,518
We have to tell him.
8
00:00:19,688 --> 00:00:20,738
Tell me what?
9
00:00:22,132 --> 00:00:23,726
Damn his Vulcan hearing.
10
00:00:25,344 --> 00:00:27,526
You fellows are planning a party
for me, aren't you?
11
00:00:28,567 --> 00:00:30,154
Okay, Sheldon, sit down.
12
00:00:31,081 --> 00:00:33,631
If there's going to be a theme,
I should let you know
13
00:00:33,756 --> 00:00:36,118
that I don't care for luau, toga
or "under the sea."
14
00:00:38,522 --> 00:00:40,539
Yeah, we'll keep that in mind.
Look...
15
00:00:41,004 --> 00:00:44,751
We need to talk to you about something
that happened at the North Pole.
16
00:00:45,127 --> 00:00:47,244
If this is about the night
the heat went out,
17
00:00:47,369 --> 00:00:49,775
there's nothing to be
embarrassed about.
18
00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:54,247
- It's not about that.
- We agreed to never speak of it again.
19
00:00:54,890 --> 00:00:56,471
So we slept together naked.
20
00:00:59,568 --> 00:01:02,352
It was only to keep our core body
temperatures from plummeting.
21
00:01:03,942 --> 00:01:05,484
He's speaking about it.
22
00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:08,281
For me, it was a bonding moment.
23
00:01:12,570 --> 00:01:15,198
Sheldon, you remember
the first few weeks
24
00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:17,443
we were looking
for magnetic monopoles
25
00:01:17,568 --> 00:01:18,982
and not finding anything
26
00:01:19,107 --> 00:01:22,588
and you were acting
like an obnoxious, giant dictator?
27
00:01:23,137 --> 00:01:24,583
We were gonna be gentle with him.
28
00:01:24,940 --> 00:01:27,093
That's why I added the "tator."
29
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:34,132
And when we finally
got our first positive data,
30
00:01:34,257 --> 00:01:35,594
you were so happy.
31
00:01:36,757 --> 00:01:39,824
In the world of emoticons,
I was colon, capital "D."
32
00:01:46,389 --> 00:01:49,385
Well, in actuality,
what your equipment detected
33
00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:53,253
wasn't so much evidence
of paradigm-shifting monopoles
34
00:01:53,382 --> 00:01:54,513
as it was...
35
00:01:55,571 --> 00:01:58,659
static from the electric can opener
we were turning on and off.
36
00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:03,211
He just went colon, capital "O."
37
00:02:06,695 --> 00:02:09,002
- You tampered with my experiment?
- We had to.
38
00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:12,657
It was the only way to keep you
from being such a huge Dickensian.
39
00:02:14,256 --> 00:02:16,305
You see that? I add the "ensian. "
40
00:02:18,296 --> 00:02:19,946
Did Leonard know about this?
41
00:02:20,071 --> 00:02:22,724
Leonard's my best friend in the world.
Surely Leonard didn't know.
42
00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:23,976
It was his idea.
43
00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:26,644
Of course it was.
The whole plan reeks of Leonard.
44
00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:30,259
- I missed you so much.
- I missed you, too.
45
00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:32,415
I couldn't think of anyone else
while you were gone.
46
00:02:32,540 --> 00:02:33,540
Me, neither.
47
00:02:35,027 --> 00:02:37,558
Except for one night
when the heat went out.
48
00:02:39,189 --> 00:02:40,687
Long story. Don't ask.
49
00:02:47,821 --> 00:02:50,237
Do not make a sound.
50
00:02:51,364 --> 00:02:53,792
Whispering,
"Do not make a sound... "
51
00:02:55,304 --> 00:02:56,341
is a sound.
52
00:02:58,513 --> 00:03:00,423
Damn his Vulcan hearing.
53
00:03:01,573 --> 00:03:03,240
Not a good time, Sheldon.
54
00:03:07,716 --> 00:03:08,937
Oh, this is ridiculous.
55
00:03:10,815 --> 00:03:11,857
- What?
- Hello.
56
00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:16,028
I realize you're currently at the mercy
of your primitive biological urges,
57
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,769
but as you have an entire lifetime
of poor decisions ahead of you,
58
00:03:18,894 --> 00:03:20,530
may I interrupt this one?
59
00:03:21,997 --> 00:03:23,577
Great to see you too.
Come on in.
60
00:03:24,614 --> 00:03:27,696
Wolowitz has informed me
of your grand deception.
61
00:03:27,911 --> 00:03:29,624
Do you have anything
to say for yourself?
62
00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:32,029
Yes, I feel terrible about it.
63
00:03:32,154 --> 00:03:34,789
I will never forgive myself,
I don't expect you to, either,
64
00:03:34,914 --> 00:03:37,324
and I would really appreciate it
if you would leave me with Penny
65
00:03:37,449 --> 00:03:39,996
for a session of self-criticism
and repentance.
66
00:03:44,081 --> 00:03:46,057
Can someone please tell me
what's going on here?
67
00:03:46,342 --> 00:03:48,532
What's going on is
I was led to believe
68
00:03:48,657 --> 00:03:50,771
I was making
groundbreaking strides in science,
69
00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:52,231
when in fact, I was being
70
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,983
fed false data at the hands
of Wolowitz, Koothrappali
71
00:03:55,108 --> 00:03:57,088
and your furry little boy toy.
72
00:03:59,278 --> 00:04:00,363
Is that true?
73
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:03,033
It was the only way
to make him happy.
74
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,576
Make him happy?
75
00:04:04,746 --> 00:04:07,037
When he wasn't happy,
we wanted to kill him.
76
00:04:08,706 --> 00:04:10,357
There was even a plan.
77
00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:13,919
We were going to throw
his Kindle outside,
78
00:04:14,086 --> 00:04:15,671
when he went to get it, lock the door
79
00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:17,339
and let him freeze to death.
80
00:04:18,700 --> 00:04:20,841
That seems like a bit
of an overreaction.
81
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,405
The overreaction
was the plan to tie your limbs
82
00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:25,931
to four different sled dog teams
and yell, "Mush. "
83
00:04:29,033 --> 00:04:30,466
We kept the original data.
84
00:04:30,591 --> 00:04:32,700
You can still publish
the actual results.
85
00:04:33,108 --> 00:04:35,816
Yes, but the actual results
are unsuccessful
86
00:04:36,025 --> 00:04:38,700
and I've already sent an e-mail
to everyone at the university
87
00:04:38,825 --> 00:04:40,680
explaining that I have
confirmed string theory
88
00:04:40,805 --> 00:04:43,114
and forever changed
man's understanding of the universe.
89
00:04:43,324 --> 00:04:45,700
Aw, see, yeah, you probably
shouldn't have done that.
90
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:50,497
So write another e-mail.
Set the record straight. No big deal.
91
00:04:52,510 --> 00:04:53,917
You're right, Leonard.
92
00:04:54,128 --> 00:04:55,628
It's not a big deal.
93
00:04:55,885 --> 00:04:58,461
All you did was lie to me,
destroy my dream
94
00:04:58,586 --> 00:05:01,636
and humiliate me
in front of the whole university.
95
00:05:03,673 --> 00:05:06,031
That, FYI, was sarcasm.
96
00:05:07,763 --> 00:05:10,163
I, in fact,
believe it is a big deal.
97
00:05:12,388 --> 00:05:13,764
The poor thing.
98
00:05:13,889 --> 00:05:15,939
- Yeah, I feel terrible.
- Wait. Wait.
99
00:05:16,639 --> 00:05:18,233
Aren't you going to go talk to him?
100
00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:21,444
He'll be fine. The guy's a trouper.
Come here.
101
00:05:22,328 --> 00:05:25,013
You're right, you shouldn't talk to him.
I will.
102
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:29,479
Man, I cannot catch a break.
103
00:05:38,325 --> 00:05:39,825
Do you want to talk?
104
00:05:39,956 --> 00:05:41,006
About what?
105
00:05:41,644 --> 00:05:43,425
Being betrayed by my friends?
106
00:05:43,831 --> 00:05:46,395
Spending three months
at the North Pole for nothing?
107
00:05:48,268 --> 00:05:50,868
And I didn't even get
to go to Comic-Con!
108
00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:54,894
Oh, hon...
109
00:06:01,893 --> 00:06:04,738
Soft kitty, warm kitty
110
00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:07,407
That's for when I'm sick.
Sad is not sick.
111
00:06:08,152 --> 00:06:10,118
Sorry.
I don't know your sad song.
112
00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:12,566
I don't have a sad song.
I'm not a child.
113
00:06:15,223 --> 00:06:18,118
You know, I do understand
what you're going through.
114
00:06:18,243 --> 00:06:19,002
Really?
115
00:06:19,373 --> 00:06:22,444
Did you just have the Nobel Prize
in waitressing stolen from you?
116
00:06:23,838 --> 00:06:27,271
Well, no, but when I was a senior
in high school,
117
00:06:27,396 --> 00:06:30,055
one of my friends heard
I was gonna be named head cheerleader.
118
00:06:30,272 --> 00:06:31,491
I was so excited.
119
00:06:31,616 --> 00:06:34,035
My mom even made me
a celebration pie.
120
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:37,523
Then they named stupid
Valerie Mossbacher head cheerleader.
121
00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:38,948
Big ol' slutbag.
122
00:06:40,958 --> 00:06:42,158
Are you saying
123
00:06:42,632 --> 00:06:44,403
that you think a "celebration pie"
124
00:06:44,528 --> 00:06:47,683
is even remotely
comparable to a Nobel Prize?
125
00:06:48,665 --> 00:06:50,215
They're pretty tasty.
126
00:06:52,474 --> 00:06:55,492
And on a different,
but not unrelated topic,
127
00:06:55,617 --> 00:06:58,368
based on your current efforts
to buoy my spirits,
128
00:06:58,493 --> 00:07:00,430
do you truly believe
that you were ever fit
129
00:07:00,555 --> 00:07:02,521
to be a cheerleader?
130
00:07:08,308 --> 00:07:10,928
Look, Sheldon, I just don't think
that the guys and Leonard
131
00:07:11,112 --> 00:07:12,921
really meant to hurt you.
132
00:07:13,046 --> 00:07:16,476
They just told an unfortunate lie
to deal with a difficult situation.
133
00:07:16,865 --> 00:07:18,061
You know what it's like?
134
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:21,462
Remember that scene in the new Star Trek
when Kirk has to take over the ship,
135
00:07:21,654 --> 00:07:23,778
so he tells Spock all that stuff
he knew wasn't true,
136
00:07:23,903 --> 00:07:26,603
like saying
Spock didn't care his mom died?
137
00:07:27,779 --> 00:07:29,906
I missed Comic-Con
and the New Star Trek movie!
138
00:07:34,839 --> 00:07:36,989
- I like the new look.
- Thanks.
139
00:07:40,781 --> 00:07:42,419
I call it "the Clooney."
140
00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:46,589
I call it "the Mario and Luigi,"
but whatever.
141
00:07:48,930 --> 00:07:50,176
How's Sheldon doing?
142
00:07:50,420 --> 00:07:53,146
He came out of his room this morning
wearing his Darth Vader helmet
143
00:07:53,271 --> 00:07:55,163
and tried to choke me to death
with the force,
144
00:07:55,288 --> 00:07:57,159
so I'd say, "a little better."
145
00:07:58,627 --> 00:08:02,314
If I may abruptly change the subject,
did you and Penny finally... You know.
146
00:08:02,677 --> 00:08:05,868
Personally, I don't care,
but my genitals wanted me to ask.
147
00:08:07,155 --> 00:08:10,071
Tell your genitals what I do with Penny
is none of their business.
148
00:08:11,498 --> 00:08:13,298
He says they didn't do it.
149
00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:16,736
Sheldon, over here.
150
00:08:31,504 --> 00:08:32,677
What are you doing?
151
00:08:33,967 --> 00:08:35,617
I feel bad for the guy.
152
00:08:39,062 --> 00:08:41,019
Sheldon, why are you
sitting by yourself?
153
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:42,906
Because I am without friends.
154
00:08:43,031 --> 00:08:45,907
Like the proverbial cheese,
I stand alone.
155
00:08:46,686 --> 00:08:48,086
Even while seated.
156
00:08:48,559 --> 00:08:50,375
Come on. We said we were sorry.
157
00:08:50,500 --> 00:08:52,310
It's going to take more
than an "I'm sorry"
158
00:08:52,435 --> 00:08:54,373
and a store-bought
apology pie from Penny
159
00:08:54,498 --> 00:08:56,659
to make up
for what you've done to me.
160
00:08:57,998 --> 00:08:59,420
Read your retraction email.
161
00:08:59,545 --> 00:09:01,668
Way to destroy your reputation.
162
00:09:02,869 --> 00:09:03,678
You see?
163
00:09:03,803 --> 00:09:06,336
People have been pointing
and laughing at me all morning.
164
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:07,846
That's not true.
165
00:09:08,314 --> 00:09:10,715
People have been pointing
and laughing at you your whole life.
166
00:09:11,471 --> 00:09:12,634
I've had enough.
167
00:09:12,844 --> 00:09:14,052
Attention, everyone.
168
00:09:14,311 --> 00:09:15,845
I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
169
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:18,624
As many of you
in the physics department might know,
170
00:09:18,749 --> 00:09:21,190
my career trajectory
has taken a minor detour.
171
00:09:21,315 --> 00:09:22,415
Off a cliff.
172
00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:26,528
My credibility
may have been damaged...
173
00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:27,741
Completely wrecked.
174
00:09:27,866 --> 00:09:30,885
But I would like to remind you
that in science,
175
00:09:31,010 --> 00:09:32,487
there's no such thing as failure.
176
00:09:32,976 --> 00:09:34,197
There once was a man
177
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:37,148
who referred to his prediction
of a cosmological constant
178
00:09:37,273 --> 00:09:39,941
as the single "biggest blunder"
of his career.
179
00:09:40,066 --> 00:09:42,914
That man's name was...
surprise, surprise...
180
00:09:43,212 --> 00:09:44,207
Albert Einstein.
181
00:09:46,190 --> 00:09:48,092
Yeah, but research into dark energy
182
00:09:48,217 --> 00:09:50,066
proved that Einstein's
cosmological constant
183
00:09:50,191 --> 00:09:52,812
was actually right all along,
so you're still...
184
00:09:52,937 --> 00:09:54,429
surprise, surprise...
185
00:09:54,554 --> 00:09:55,554
A loser.
186
00:09:58,813 --> 00:10:00,439
You think you're so clever.
187
00:10:00,564 --> 00:10:01,679
Let me just tell you,
188
00:10:01,804 --> 00:10:04,033
while I do not currently
have a scathing retort,
189
00:10:04,158 --> 00:10:06,715
you check your e-mail
periodically for a doozy.
190
00:10:11,938 --> 00:10:14,279
So much for our friendship
with Sheldon.
191
00:10:15,927 --> 00:10:18,116
We'll always have the night
the heat went out.
192
00:10:28,266 --> 00:10:30,145
Since we got interrupted last night,
193
00:10:30,270 --> 00:10:32,214
I didn't have a chance
to give you this.
194
00:10:33,494 --> 00:10:34,944
You shouldn't have.
195
00:10:37,316 --> 00:10:38,316
Oh, boy!
196
00:10:40,568 --> 00:10:41,618
What is it?
197
00:10:42,456 --> 00:10:43,806
It's a snowflake.
198
00:10:43,954 --> 00:10:45,227
From the North Pole.
199
00:10:46,514 --> 00:10:47,814
Are you serious?
200
00:10:48,775 --> 00:10:49,655
It's eternal.
201
00:10:49,780 --> 00:10:52,820
I preserved it in a one percent solution
of polyvinyl acetal resin.
202
00:10:58,150 --> 00:11:00,307
That's the most romantic thing
anyone's ever said to me
203
00:11:00,432 --> 00:11:01,897
that I didn't understand.
204
00:11:03,397 --> 00:11:05,061
It's actually a simple process.
205
00:11:05,186 --> 00:11:08,122
Cyanoacrylates are monomers
which polymerize on...
206
00:11:12,430 --> 00:11:14,172
Red alert, Leonard.
Sheldon ran away.
207
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:15,912
Man, I cannot catch a break.
208
00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:19,136
So, how do you know he ran away?
209
00:11:19,370 --> 00:11:20,962
Well, he's not answering his phone,
210
00:11:21,087 --> 00:11:23,262
he handed in his
resignation at the university
211
00:11:23,387 --> 00:11:26,435
and he sent me a text
that said, "I'm running away."
212
00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,837
Thanks for letting me know.
213
00:11:28,962 --> 00:11:30,730
Aren't you going to do something?
214
00:11:31,370 --> 00:11:33,775
Of course I'm going to do something.
215
00:11:34,526 --> 00:11:37,401
Howard, you check the comic book store.
Raj, go to the thai restaurant.
216
00:11:37,526 --> 00:11:39,694
I'll stay here with Penny
in her apartment.
217
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:42,689
Oh, damn it.
218
00:11:43,673 --> 00:11:45,078
It's Sheldon's mother.
219
00:11:45,347 --> 00:11:47,097
A break cannot be caught.
220
00:11:48,253 --> 00:11:49,374
Hi, Mrs. Cooper.
221
00:11:50,408 --> 00:11:52,608
He is?
Sheldon went home to Texas.
222
00:11:54,127 --> 00:11:56,077
Yeah, no, I know he resigned.
223
00:11:57,996 --> 00:12:00,096
I guess it kind of is our fault.
224
00:12:01,248 --> 00:12:03,793
No, you're right.
Someone needs to come talk to him.
225
00:12:03,918 --> 00:12:05,762
Don't worry, I'll take care of it.
226
00:12:06,717 --> 00:12:07,717
All right.
227
00:12:09,084 --> 00:12:10,084
New plan.
228
00:12:10,216 --> 00:12:13,491
Howard, you and Raj go to Texas.
I'll stay with Penny in her apartment.
229
00:12:14,676 --> 00:12:16,067
You're not gonna go with them?
230
00:12:16,279 --> 00:12:18,750
Well, you know,
I gave you the snowflake
231
00:12:18,875 --> 00:12:20,149
and we were kissing and...
232
00:12:20,274 --> 00:12:22,240
Come on,
I don't want to go to Texas!
233
00:12:23,470 --> 00:12:26,170
Oh, right, and I do?
My people already crossed a desert once.
234
00:12:26,295 --> 00:12:27,345
We're done.
235
00:12:31,187 --> 00:12:32,709
Trust me, you'll be fine. See ya.
236
00:12:33,316 --> 00:12:34,705
Well, wait a second, Leonard.
237
00:12:34,830 --> 00:12:37,134
Come on, how can you not go?
He's your best friend.
238
00:12:37,259 --> 00:12:39,654
Yeah, but I already saw him naked.
Just come here.
239
00:12:40,904 --> 00:12:43,154
I promise I will be here
when you get back.
240
00:12:43,279 --> 00:12:44,763
Just go help Sheldon.
241
00:12:45,655 --> 00:12:46,718
- Really?
- Yeah.
242
00:12:46,843 --> 00:12:49,413
We waited a few months.
We can wait a few more days.
243
00:12:54,468 --> 00:12:55,668
Maybe you can.
244
00:12:58,183 --> 00:12:59,183
Go.
245
00:13:01,428 --> 00:13:03,928
Boy, you cannot
catch a break, can you?
246
00:13:07,625 --> 00:13:09,125
Here you go, Shelly.
247
00:13:09,549 --> 00:13:10,649
Thanks, Mom.
248
00:13:13,019 --> 00:13:14,653
Hold your horses, young man.
249
00:13:14,778 --> 00:13:16,711
Here in Texas,
we pray before we eat.
250
00:13:16,950 --> 00:13:17,950
Aw, Mom.
251
00:13:18,075 --> 00:13:20,825
This is not California,
land of the heathen.
252
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:23,593
Gimme.
253
00:13:27,991 --> 00:13:30,077
By His hand we are all...
254
00:13:31,343 --> 00:13:32,343
... fed.
255
00:13:32,546 --> 00:13:34,335
Give us, Lord, our daily...
256
00:13:35,149 --> 00:13:36,091
... bread.
257
00:13:36,296 --> 00:13:38,622
- Please know that we are truly...
- ... grateful.
258
00:13:38,747 --> 00:13:41,381
- For every cup and every...
- ... plateful.
259
00:13:45,812 --> 00:13:47,659
Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?
260
00:13:48,285 --> 00:13:50,059
My objection was based
on considerations
261
00:13:50,184 --> 00:13:51,784
other than difficulty.
262
00:13:52,831 --> 00:13:54,634
Whatever.
Jesus still loves you.
263
00:13:57,846 --> 00:14:00,446
Thank you for carving a smiley face
in my grilled cheese sandwich.
264
00:14:00,571 --> 00:14:02,557
Oh, I know
how to take care of my baby.
265
00:14:03,537 --> 00:14:06,590
His eyes came out a little thin,
but you can just pretend he's Chinese.
266
00:14:11,870 --> 00:14:13,809
So, do you want to talk about
267
00:14:13,934 --> 00:14:16,521
what happened with you
and your little friends?
268
00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:19,441
- They're not my friends.
- All right.
269
00:14:22,148 --> 00:14:24,178
If you recall, when you were little,
270
00:14:24,303 --> 00:14:26,197
we sat right here at this very spot
271
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:27,846
and we talked about the problems
272
00:14:27,971 --> 00:14:30,243
you had getting along
with the neighbor kids.
273
00:14:30,413 --> 00:14:31,495
That was different.
274
00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:33,275
They were threatened
by my intelligence
275
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:35,953
and too stupid to know
that's why they hated me.
276
00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:41,262
Oh baby, they knew very well
why they hated you.
277
00:14:53,358 --> 00:14:55,518
I can't believe
you bought a red cowboy hat.
278
00:14:55,907 --> 00:14:58,143
Hello?
I'm wearing a red turtleneck.
279
00:15:03,085 --> 00:15:05,008
Plus, it was the only boys' large
they had.
280
00:15:07,650 --> 00:15:09,587
I'm sorry,
this does not look like Texas.
281
00:15:09,712 --> 00:15:11,869
Where's the tumbleweeds?
Whe's the saloons?
282
00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:12,994
Saloons?
283
00:15:13,164 --> 00:15:14,979
Like in the movies
I saw growing up in India.
284
00:15:15,104 --> 00:15:17,982
You know, Four for Texas,
Yellow Rose of Texas.
285
00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:21,433
This neighborhood is more
Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
286
00:15:23,174 --> 00:15:25,131
I was really hoping
to see a cattle drive.
287
00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:26,423
What can I tell you?
288
00:15:26,837 --> 00:15:29,757
They probably have steaks on sale
at that big-ass Costco over there.
289
00:15:39,579 --> 00:15:41,734
Will you please
take that stupid hat off?
290
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:43,608
No, I want to blend in.
291
00:15:45,508 --> 00:15:47,183
To what? Toy Story?
292
00:15:50,098 --> 00:15:52,117
- Hi, boys.
- Howdy, ma'am.
293
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,569
Howdy to you, too.
You got here quick.
294
00:15:54,694 --> 00:15:56,621
- We took the red-eye.
- Well, come on in.
295
00:15:56,791 --> 00:15:58,139
Thank you kindly.
296
00:15:59,051 --> 00:16:01,475
- Can I get you something to drink?
- No, thank you.
297
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:04,967
If y'all don't mind,
I got a hankerin' for a Lone Star beer.
298
00:16:07,256 --> 00:16:10,548
There's no alcohol in this household.
Stop talking like that and lose the hat.
299
00:16:13,436 --> 00:16:15,822
Sorry. I'll take a diet Yoo-Hoo
if you have it.
300
00:16:17,619 --> 00:16:19,069
You'll take a cola.
301
00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:22,021
What about you?
Radge, isn't it?
302
00:16:22,550 --> 00:16:24,729
You still having trouble
talking to the ladies?
303
00:16:25,617 --> 00:16:26,930
Because, at our church,
304
00:16:27,055 --> 00:16:29,274
we have a woman
who's an amazing healer.
305
00:16:29,525 --> 00:16:32,100
Mostly she does
crutch and wheelchair people,
306
00:16:32,582 --> 00:16:35,073
but I bet she'd be willing
to take a shot
307
00:16:35,198 --> 00:16:38,246
at whatever Third World demon
is running around inside of you.
308
00:16:40,715 --> 00:16:41,741
If you don't mind,
309
00:16:41,866 --> 00:16:43,927
there's a 3:05 nonstop
back to Los Angeles
310
00:16:44,052 --> 00:16:46,671
and you have no idea
how much I want to be on it.
311
00:16:47,463 --> 00:16:49,629
- A girl?
- Uh, yes, ma'am.
312
00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:51,453
Oh, good.
I been praying for you.
313
00:16:57,693 --> 00:16:59,917
- What are they doing here?
- We came to apologize.
314
00:17:00,042 --> 00:17:01,630
- Again.
- And bring you home.
315
00:17:01,755 --> 00:17:03,854
Why don't you pack up your stuff
and we'll head back?
316
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,210
No, this is my home now.
317
00:17:07,629 --> 00:17:09,587
Thanks to you, my career is over
318
00:17:09,712 --> 00:17:11,944
and I will spend
the rest of my life here in Texas
319
00:17:12,069 --> 00:17:14,160
trying to teach evolution
to creationists.
320
00:17:18,193 --> 00:17:19,788
You watch your mouth, Shelly.
321
00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:22,707
Everyone's entitled
to their opinion.
322
00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:25,376
Evolution isn't an opinion,
it's fact.
323
00:17:25,631 --> 00:17:28,032
And that is your opinion.
324
00:17:31,755 --> 00:17:33,669
I forgive you.
Let's go home.
325
00:17:38,611 --> 00:17:40,549
Don't tell me prayer doesn't work.
326
00:17:49,071 --> 00:17:51,651
How about that?
I finally caught a break.
327
00:17:57,767 --> 00:18:00,207
You know how they say
when friends have sex,
328
00:18:00,332 --> 00:18:01,682
it can get weird?
329
00:18:02,016 --> 00:18:03,016
Sure.
330
00:18:04,453 --> 00:18:06,453
Why does it have to get weird?
331
00:18:07,206 --> 00:18:08,356
I don't know.
332
00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:10,080
I mean,
333
00:18:10,868 --> 00:18:13,558
we were friends,
and now we're more than friends.
334
00:18:14,142 --> 00:18:15,892
We're whatever "this" is.
335
00:18:16,152 --> 00:18:18,402
But why label it, right?
I mean...
336
00:18:19,252 --> 00:18:20,641
It is what it is and...
337
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:22,966
- Leonard? It's weird.
- Totally.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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